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Most stories with a beginning and an end have a middle, but not this one. Whatever it was, they never managed to decide and somehow made a life in that conundrum. I was one of them. At 54, after 30 years of marriage and two of loneliness, I went on JDate to find a man and found Dean.
JDate.com Review
Most stories with a beginning and an end have a middle, but not this one. Whatever it was, they never managed to decide and somehow made a life in that conundrum. I was one of them. At 54, after 30 years of marriage and two of loneliness, I went on JDate to find a man and found Dean. My sensei in dating arts was Miri, my former graduate student, who was seeking a diversion from her dissertation on Henry James. While most of her yeshiva friends were hefting toddlers, Miri was proudly single, a virtuosic JDater.
We had bonded in the weepy weeks after I left my marriage, watching Olympic pairs skating in my drafty apartment. All I remember from that time is sequins. We slid into a booth at Panera. Entrepreneur means unemployed. Miri sipped on her ginger tea. She gave me a severe look, put down her cup, and flexed her fingers on the table.
Take my username and password and go on as me. When I went online as Miri, JDate promptly delivered a matrix of photos of attractive, thirtysomething males.
A few days later my former husband told me he was dating a woman introduced to him by an old friend of ours. As I soon learned, she was a year-old beauty, an MBA cum kundalini yoga instructor. I imagined her checking her iPhone in poses of jaw-dropping flexibility, and the news hit hard. No one had ever offered to set me up with anyone; no one ever will , I thought, and that evening I bought a three-month subscription to JDate. I combed through my photos to find one without my kids where I was not squinting into the sun, and hastily composed a profile.
I skipped the physical description, ignored the salary question, and then read it over, cringing:. Poet and professor, early fifties, amicably separated, eager for intimacy but needing solitude; capable of joy yet given to melancholy; left-wing on Israel yet ravished by Edmund Burke.
I asked Miri to vet my profile, sending her my password, and she gave it her pre-doctoral seal of approval. Some use JDate for algorithmically generated matches, but instead I used it for online man-shopping.
Men came in many styles, I found; the trick was to find one who was flattering to my bruised self-esteem. Click on a lawyer, a social worker, a human rights activist. Too conservative? Find someone shorter. These men were balding, gray, and pudgy—those who dared to include a photo, that is. His jaw was taut, his arms muscled, and his shock of white hair swam in a sea of blue light. He liked Seinfeld as I did and the Yankees not so much. I messaged him.
But you passed me over. I explained that I was not a synagogue person, and not really observant, at least not compared to my two Sabbath-observing brothers. Most of my Jewish life, I wrote, I live in my head, on paper, and in the classroom, reading, writing, teaching.
This must have lowered my Jew quotient, since he then told me where he taught and I told him where I taught. We repaired to our browsers to Google the living daylights out of one another and an hour later had agreed to meet. We began exchanging tentative, jokey emails, as if we had both placed into remedial flirting and were trying to eke out a pass. He wrote:. Like JDate, Barnes and Noble makes suggestions based on prior selections, but they also offer free shipping which would make JDate a lot more interesting if they did.
I catalogued his idiosyncrasies: texty abbreviations but careful spelling; two spaces between paragraphs, four between sentences. Macho pride? I let it go, but this confirmed my hunch that online dating was not just an uneven playing field. This field had alps. Would I like to hear some of his music? I sent him, with a vague apology, an impenetrable poem about Leonardo da Vinci and the invasion of Iraq. He wrote that he liked it:. But, since it is a date, I feel compelled to also share the following with you out of consideration for your time and feelings before we meet.
I have become a health food fanatic veggie and wheat grass juice, kitchen sprout farm, lots of supplements and given up my love for single malt scotch. I was already an exercise fanatic when I became ill a couple years ago. I wish I could say I paused and pondered, or texted Miri, or even took a deep breath before responding.
Instead, I replied immediately:. About stem cell transplants I know next to nothing. I understand what you mean about being a cancer treatment survivor. Thanks for letting me know where you are, ten months after your last treatment. He was late, having made a detour to drop off his son Walker at LaGuardia. When his order arrived, it looked like a supper I once shared with monks near Hanoi, a meal that went unphotographed. Anyway, my shrink suggested it. He asked about my summer plans, and I said I planned to start dating.
His last name, once Drumlovitz, had been bobbed by his father to sound like a Scottish clan. Louis born to Odessa Jews. He was Jews all the way down. What did he think we were going to talk about, Stravinsky? For the next two hours we talked about our marriages.
The comment stuck like a burr. The echoes of children ghosted other rooms than ours. I was more arrested than attracted by him, but I was not unattracted.
His biceps were taut even when he reached for sushi, but in person, he was smaller and less commanding than in his picture. His foamy white hair, minus the blue light, was a lunchtime salt-and-pepper. He wore dark green, artsy glasses, and something about his jaw was odd, a hollow starting just below his ear on his right side. When we rose to leave, he said he was about to take off for a week with Maggie, his terrier. They were heading south to visit Wendy, his first wife surprise , a physician in rural West Virginia.
Besides, he wanted to keep the conversation with me going. I began gnawing on it: Did we have enough to talk about? Would we scrape bottom? Why was he so intent on me? At the age of 15, a quick study and a crack sight-reader, Dean became an assistant to outsider composer Harry Partch. A swaggering, hard-drinking gay Californian then in his mids, Partch had one ear on the ancients and another on the hoboes he joined up with after dropping out of USC. If some visionaries have a third eye, Partch had a third ear, trained on the music of the spheres.
Where many of us hear 12 tones to the octave, Partch heard the octave explode into an infinite number of pitches, and he began to invent instruments that would render them for the ears of others.
In reality, what sounded like shimmering galaxies of sound were pitches Partch derived from overtones and undertones rather than from the effete, conventional tunings of Western harmony. Partch had taught Dean to hear his pitches, play his instruments, and read his scores. Instead in , Dean lit out for New York. He also taught himself how to set up desktop computers and hired himself out as a system technician. Within a few years, he arranged for the Partch collection to be shipped to New York for a concert, and from then on Dean had been left in charge of them.
Sawing metal pipes by hand, Dean had filed them himself to exact tunings, 43 pipes to an octave. He seemed serious, and I waited for the hint of a smile, which duly emerged and lit him up. But he was not flirting; he was sharing his rich sense of the absurd and enjoying it.
Afterward he drove me back to my car and we parted without touching. A year later, on a wintry visit to his daughter in Boston, I spotted a diner called The Real Deal, and positioned Dean under the sign for a picture. I had to stand far back to get both Dean and the sign in the frame, but you can make out his wide grin, as he looked upward to his bright neon caption.
He was happy to be loved, but proud to have my esteem. Back home, after our first meeting, I walked my golden retriever, who, like the other victims of our separation, was shuttled back and forth between exes. The sun was no longer visible, but the sky was awash in salmon and gold, darkening as it kissed the earth. Vowing to call every night from West Virginia was an impressive gesture, but Dean left his cellphone on the kitchen counter, so we settled for erratic emails sent from rural public libraries.
His notes were a rush of reflection and resolution. Resolutions to get to know me better. On our second date, we met at a vegan restaurant in New York. Without looking at the menu, he ordered edamame and steamed vegetables with brown rice, while I sought in vain for something that would taste like lamb or anchovies.
His mood was subdued.
Search for: Go! Jdate. Find Your Match · Success Stories · Love & Dating · Culture Success Stories · Love & Dating · Culture · Discover Jdate. Search for: Go! all other dating sites combined.¹. If you're ready to find a truly compatible match, Jdate is a great place to search. Here's how to get started.
Jdate is the leading Jewish dating site for single Jewish men and women looking to make a great connection with other Jewish singles. What sets us apart is our ability to help our members make quality connections. Our profiles and personalization features go above and beyond other apps to help Jdate members connect with other likeminded members. And our suite of powerful communication tools help members meet more people and make deeper connections. Our app puts all of the power of Jdate right in your hands so you can see your matches, send messages, and stay connected from anywhere.
JDate claims to be one of the largest online dating site designed and catered for Jewish singles created in with current members of , and more. You don't have to be Jewish to join, but this is ideal only if you're looking for Jewish partners.
Thousands of Jewish singles visit JDate every day. Having said that, most of the members live in major metropolitan centers in the U.
Meeting Single Jewish Men with Jdate
Since it entered the scene in , JDate. Boasting hundreds of thousands of members and a near-perfect male-to-female ratio, JDate is an ideal place to find friendship, romance, and more. JDate averages over 10, members online at any one time from all around the world. Their religious and ethnic backgrounds are varied, from Hassidic to Modern Orthodox to Ashkenazi and Sephardic. While some JDate.
JDate Review May 2020
Jdate is an online dating service aimed at Jewish singles. The service is one of a number of demographically focused online match-making websites operated by Spark Networks , Inc. Because of the focus on relationships between Jewish singles, Jdate is considered a special-interest online dating site. Jdate was founded in by Alon Carmel and Joe Shapira. After the launch, membership grew rapidly by word of mouth in tight-knit Jewish communities. The site won a Webby award for social networking. On November 10, , Jdate launched a dating app designed for Jewish singles. Members can mark their Jewish affiliation on their profile.
JDate coupon codes and sales, just follow this link to the website to browse their current offerings.
Have you been searching for single Jewish men who are both compatible and interested in a long-term relationship but finding it difficult? Read on to hear how we can help you find love. In this modern day and age it seems as though finding love and compatibility is a bigger challenge than ever before. And all of this is without mentioning that dating has to fit around your life.
An Honest JDate Review
With just a few simple questions to answer during the sign-up process, getting started is simple. With a variety of ways to find matches, a large user base, and even the offer of offline singles events, JDate should be the chosen site for any Jewish single hoping to meet a match. Signing up is extremely easy. As this is a site for Jewish singles, your religious background and how often you visit synagogue is also required. If you choose to add the word limit description at sign up, it should take you no longer than 15 minutes total. With the free account, you can browse through profiles via the quick and advanced search features but sending a message requires a subscription. The results are used to match you with likeminded matches. JDate encourages group meet-ups to help users feel more secure. The forum is active in encouraging other users to post the usernames of fake profiles. AskMen may get paid if you click a link in this article and buy a product or service. To find out more, please read our complete terms of use. Search AskMen Search. Messages You have no messages. Notifications You have no notifications.
How To Use Jdate: Make The Most Of Our Dating Site
Jewish, single, and seeking a meaningful connection? Jdate is here to help. A Jewish dating site for relationship-minded singles, Jdate can help you meet interesting, accomplished men and women and maybe even your bashert! As our Success Stories show , Jdate has a long and happy history of helping Jewish singles find great matches. There are a number of different ways to register a Jdate profile. Or, you can keep things mobile, and download the Jdate dating app on either iOS or Android. Or, you can keep your Jdate account separate from your social accounts, and use an email address to get set up. After you register, you can start filling in your dating profile. However, some information is needed on sign up — think profile elements like your ZIP code and a unique, witty display name.
